Character Flaw #42 – Parenting Falsehoods

Do you ever lie to your kids? I do…sometimes little white lies, sometimes big whoppers. I like to keep them guessing. Some they might believe, some they don’t even bite at. Some are self-serving. For example, I think Son #2 might actually believe that I am only 29 years old…bless his heart! Some are purely for my entertainment. I tried to convince Son #2 that he was adopted, but he just shook his head and said, “That’s just sad.” (His response amused me greatly!) The other day, I suggested that Daddy might have another family that he visited when he went on business trips. I think they might have actually considered it, but I pushed it a bit too far when I said he also had a second job as a circus clown.

The positive side of this character flaw of mine is that we laugh a lot and they provide fodder for stories that we create. The down side is that, much like the boy who cried wolf, the boys don’t always know when to believe me. This proved to be true when I was discussing puberty with Son #2 the other day. “You mean I am going to get hair, where??” Our discussion of pimples and acne did not go so well either. I am not sure what he thought I was describing, but, despite my best efforts, I think he was left with the impression that he could possibly spend his teenage years with a face covered in boils and hairy warts. I attempted to discuss the birds and the bees and mentioned that girls could get pregnant as soon as they started their periods. He asked when young girls start their periods…when I said eleven or twelve, I thought he was going to throw up. We had not even gotten to the good stuff. He begged me to stop and said he would let me know if he had any more questions. So far I have not heard from him…