Season 5 Episode 112

In this episode, Claire gets a new couch. She tries to have the old one taken away while Cliff is at the hospital, but Cliff becomes aware of her plan and refuses to let the movers take the couch. At the end of the episode, Claire finally convinces Cliff to let go of the couch.

After 12 years, I finally got two new love seats. Yippee! There was nothing structurally wrong with them and the fabric was still in pretty good shape, but it was time...I was tired of them. I don’t think I was quite prepared for the impact it would have on my children. We gave them to a family who has little furniture and they picked them up a few days before the new ones were delivered. I think the boys were afraid that I was slowly giving away all of our possessions when they came home from school and the living room was empty. They were relieved the following week when they came home and saw the new and improved love seats. Nevertheless, I think Son #2 has chained his bed to the wall….just in case.

Season 5 Episode 110

In this episode, Vanessa has a new boyfriend. She starts breaking many family rules and gets caught in several lies. Cliff and Claire invite the boyfriend, Jeremy, over to the house to discuss the situation. They point out to him that he is expecting Vanessa to disobey her parents while he would not defy his own parents.

There were three things that I really liked about his episode…

1. They faced the problem directly.

Clair: So she's out with Jeremy.
Cliff: You know what we should do? We should turn this couch around so the first thing she sees when she gets home is us.
Clair: Let's move it now.

2. They did not tolerate lying in their home.

Clair: And you have a bad memory! You don't remember that if there's one thing we will not abide by in this house, it's being lied to by our children. And any child who stands up and knowingly tells a bold-faced lie will be punished!
Rudy: They will?
Clair: Yes, ma'am, they will. They'll be grounded for 2 weeks.

3. They pointed out the double standard…the girl was expected to break the rules, but the boy was not. In some cases, the opposite could be true. Neither party in a relationship should be defying their parents if they are doing the right thing.

Cliff: Does Vanessa ask you to disobey your parents?
Jeremy: No.
Cliff: So why is it all right for you to ask our daughter to disobey us?
Jeremy: It isn't.

My boys are a few years away from dating. But when they start, I hope I remember WWCD!

Season 5 Episode 109

In this episode, Rudy babysits for her friend, Caroline’s hamster. During the night, Darren the hamster becomes ill and Cliff and Rudy rush him to the veterinarian’s office. The hamster dies during the exam. Cliff buys a new hamster and tries to pass him off to Caroline as Darren. Caroline is not fooled, but she also is not upset…apparently, this happens every time someone looks after her hamster.

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the reputation.

One day, I walked into Son #2’s bedroom and found his beta fish “Bluey” floating at the top of the tank. Having worked through the various stages of heart-breaking grief when his fish “Shark” died just a few months earlier, I was not too eager to experience it again so soon. So, I made the decision to quietly replace the fish while he was at school. I went to Petsmart and analyzed all of the beta fish and selected one that most closely resembled Bluey…until I got home. Bluey was appropriately named because of his distinct blue color. The new fish I had purchased was blue in the store, but when I got it home it looked really red. There was not much I could do but hold my breath and keep my fingers crossed. I kept Son #2 from his room until bedtime and then came a loud scream…”MOMMY!!! BLUEY IS TURNING RED!!” My quick thinking response was…”Those things happen.” For some reason, that seemed to satisfy him. Would you believe that “Bluey” has turned out to be quite a hearty fish? From time to time, Son #2 will look at it suspiciously and comment on its color, but other than that my secret seems secure.

100 Ways to Raise Money

Son #2 is trying to raise money to buy another Webkinz. His creativity is amazing. I am convinced he has tried to collect his allowance three times this week. I heard him try and talk his brother into placing a bet on a video game the other day. He even tried to negotiate with me to pay him $1 to try the “icky, green” vegetable that I made for dinner one night.

One night, I thought he had really crossed the line. He called me into his room and told me that he had pulled out a tooth. I started grilling him…Was the tooth even loose when he went to bed? Hadn't he lost that tooth before? I actually was afraid he was scamming the tooth fairy for an extra buck. Who’s crazy now?

My Little Voyagers

In an effort to get the most out of our Netflix subscription, we have been shaking up our tv viewing selections. In no particular order, we have been watching “F-Troop,” “McHale’s Navy” and “Petticoat Junction.” I am proud to say that we have almost mastered the theme song to F-Troop and I think we finally know the difference between Billie Jo, Bobbie Jo and Betty Jo Bradley. Other than that, these shows have not provided many life lessons.

We have also started watching a show from the early 80’s called “Voyagers.” I don’t remember it at all from its original release, but it has been a lot of fun. The show is about a “voyager” and his sidekick who travel through time to prevent or correct problems that could potentially alter the course of history. Some are easy…what if Newton did not sit under the apple tree or if Lewis and Clark chose the wrong path and got lost. Some are more challenging…what if Lincoln got captured and was unable to get to Gettysburg. The boys have really enjoyed trying to anticipate the historical events and make connections to things that they have already learned. It has also provided us to ask our own “what if…” questions. For example, what if Mommy had not gone camping one weekend with friends and met Daddy? The whole course of our family history could have been tragically altered.

Season 5 Episode 107

In this episode, Vanessa and her friends make a music video for a contest at a local tv station. The winner could receive a record contract. Since their combined vocal talent is not strong, they have to rely on their costumes and dance moves. The problem is that Cliff and Claire find their costumes too skimpy and their dance moves too suggestive.

Should I mention the Luvabulls again? (11/20/08) As Son #2 has asked, “Why do girls have to dance like that in their underwear?” Good question.

Duck!

The other day, we were at the airport to pick up Husband. We were waiting by the baggage claim and I sent the boys to check his flight status on the monitors. As typically happens, they got distracted. Before I knew it, they were over by the kiosks for making hotel reservations. I was too far away to call out to them and I could not leave all of our coats etc. on the chairs and walk over them. You know...security level orange and all. I really did not want to pick everything up and go down to retrieve them. So, I did the next best thing I could think of…I started sending them telepathic messages. “Come back NOW!” “1-2-3!” “You are in SO much trouble!!” It did not work…I picked up the coats and went to get them.

I asked Son #2…”Why didn’t you come back? Why didn’t you listen to the mind messages I was sending you?” He responded, “It wasn’t that I did not listen…I saw them coming and I ducked.”

The Power of Target

I know I have mentioned before that Target is my “happy place.” I have been there twice each day this week. I can buy just about everything I need at Target.

I was riding the elevator the other day with a woman and we were discussing an ongoing construction project at our Target. We were trying to guess what wonderful treat was in store for us. I mentioned to her that Target was my happy place. She responded…”You too! It is my happy place!” I felt that I had found a kindred spirit. She went on to say that she was from out-of-town and was in Chicago temporarily while her dad was in a coma. Every day, after she drops her daughter at school, she stops at Target on the way to the hospital to spend the day with her dad. It made all of my problems seem so insignificant.

Never underestimate the power of Target...

Mommy Radar Update (9.25.08)

The other night I was awaken by a quiet whimpering sound. Before I ran to rescue my beloved child, I sat in bed and tried to figure out which one was in trouble. I figured a few extra seconds would not matter given the satisfaction I would feel knowing that I guessed the right child. Imagine my surprise when I realized that the whimpering sound was our cat, Lucy, asleep in our closet and snoring. So much for Super Mommy.

Season 5 Episode 99

In this episode, Theo leaves for college and moves into the dorms at NYU. Denise also announces that she is dropping out of Hillman and is hoping to move back home. Cliff tells Clair that the kids will never leave and that they want to take over the house. He suggests that they run away and never return.

This was a recurring theme in the Cosby Show…children leaving and returning. It always provided an opportunity to explain to the boys that the objective is for them to finish school and get a job. One day, they must leave…and hopefully not return except for occasionally visits and holidays. Son #2 is less sure of this plan than Son #1…he is unsure that I will be able to survive without him. I have tried to explain that Daddy and I did well for 8 years before children and would like to have the chance to try again someday.

Visit to Santa

The other night, we went to have dinner at the Walnut Room at Macy’s (formerly known as Marshall Fields). It is our annual tradition to meet another family and we sit by the big Christmas tree. Very festive!

After dinner, we all go visit Santa. My boys still prepare a wish list for Santa…just in case. When we get there, Santa asks them the typical questions…”Have you been good this year?” “Do you get along with your brother?” Son #2 just smiles and nods…he is not going to risk lying, but he is also not going to risk telling the truth. For Son #1, it is like he is at his therapist. For two years straight, the elf has said she has never seen a more honest child.

Santa: Have you been good this year?
Son #1: I really try, but it sure is not easy.

Santa: Do you get along with your brother?
Son #1: Most of the time, but he can really get on my nerves.

Santa: Do you go to bed when you are told to?
Son #1: Sometimes I read with a flashlight.

Santa: Do you keep your room clean?
Son #1: Wanda (our cleaning lady) comes every other Tuesday so I clean my room when she comes.

Our visits to Santa are very cathartic for him…and informative for me.

A Glimpse of the Future

In school, Son #1 recently completed a unit on product design and development. They worked in teams to create a new product and today, they presented their marketing plans. Son #1 looked so professional in his sport coat and tie. Son #2 took a double-take when he came down to breakfast…it was like Daddy’s mini-me. Again, reminding me that time is passing so quickly.

The Big Question

The other day at breakfast, Son #2 asked me the big question...”Is Santa Claus real?” Those who know me well will acknowledge that mornings are not my sharpest time of the day…I was really caught off-guard. The best answer I could come up with was…”What do you think?” His suspicions were based on the handwriting on last year’s gift tags. Apparently, he noticed that all of the gifts – including Santa’s – were written in my handwriting. Smart boy! Fortunately, we had just listened to a radio drama about St. Nicholas so we talked about the history of Santa Claus and how the tradition has developed to include a red/white suit, elves, the North Pole, and reindeer. He seemed relieved to finally know the truth and promised to never spoil the secret for another child…he appreciated being a part of the conspiracy.

Later in the day, he asked another big question…”Is it better to rent or to own?”

Christmas Music

I just had one of my low points as a parent. Son #2 and I were looking through Christmas music on i-Tunes. Jingle Cats is one of our favorites. (Believe it or not…that is not the low point.) I pulled up their novelty Christmas music playlist. He wanted to hear the Chipmunks. I thought I found it, but what I was really playing was “Chipmunks Roasting Over an Open Fire.” It was pretty funny, but Son #2 was wondering why they were singing about crispy chipmunks burning over the fire.

Then, it got worse. We found a song called, “I Farted on Santa’s Lap.” Son #2, of course, insisted upon listening to it. I was only too happy to oblige, because the next song on the list was “I Had Sex with Santa.” We stopped looking at the list after that! We are now listening to my pre-screened list of Christmas music!